Morgan’s Birth Story! 1.5.23.
I wanted my precious first born’s birth story to have a more permanent place than just some Instagram posts, so I’m writing this blog to seal this incredible time of our life into memory, but also to share a positive birth story to other women - because so often we hear the negative and scary things regarding birth, or all the things that ‘could’ go wrong, and we are rarely uplifted to believe that we are fully capable of bringing life into this world by trusting our body’s innate ability to do so. Because you ARE fully capable. You are strong as a mother :) My husband, Forrest, is also a star of this story because he was a dream of a birth partner.
So, here we go! This is a bit long, but I hope you enjoy all the details :)
On Wednesday, January 4, 2023 (39w5d), I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary except for some minor cramping that had been occurring for a few days, and I was more fatigued on my afternoon walk. Heartburn had increased in the days leading up, and was AWFUL after dinner this night. I had been increasing my date and red raspberry leaf tea consumption to get my uterus and cervix ready for the big event, and I was doing SO MUCH mindset work (because birth is more of a mental task than physical). My focus at that point in pregnancy was on stretching, doing inversions to loosen ligaments, and bringing awareness to my pelvic floor as I prepared for the next few days/weeks. I had also been cleaning random things (like cabinet doors…) throughout the week, so nesting had definitely been increasing.
I woke up the next morning (39w6d) at 5am to go to the bathroom and then went back to sleep - I have no idea if I was contracting at this point or not because I was tired and just went back to sleep without thinking too much of it. I must’ve been in early labor all night long and baby girl was getting busy preparing for her arrival while mommy rested because I woke up again at 6:15am to my water breaking in bed and fully losing my mucus plug (I had been losing parts of it since week 37, and just assumed it was growing back). I tried to get more rest, but things picked up VERY quickly so I couldn’t. I got in the shower around 8am to try and relax more, but that didn’t help too much and I could no longer get through the contractions without Forrest’s help. We weren’t timing them at this point, but they were very intense with only short breaks in between. We called our doula and, listening to what I was experiencing and how I was breathing, she suggested we pack up our things and head to the hospital birth center because it was baby time! Forrest gathered all of our things before leaving while I breathed through contractions - holding a comb helped immensely in this stage to distract my brain and redirect the sensations of pain. While in the car, I also held a heat pack across my lower abs and upper pelvis to relieve some pressure and discomfort on our drive. We called our doula at 9:30am (so, just over 3 hours after my water broke) to let her know we were on our way to the hospital - St. Joseph’s in Nashua (10/10 would recommend). That drive was 15 of the longest minutes ever. When we got there, I requested a wheelchair to get up to L&D because waking was extremely difficult at this point, and luckily Forrest and I met the nicest SLP who worked at the hospital and she helped us get all of our things up to the floor. This part of the story comes full circle because we also ran into her when we got discharged on Saturday - so cool!
When we got to our room, the nurses needed to do an initial reading on Morgan to determine how she was handling the stress of contractions, but they had a difficult time getting readings on the monitors (come to find out, they struggled with this because she was way lower in my pelvis than anyone thought she was). Doppler readings ensured she was safe, so the nurses then let me labor in positions that felt best for my body and progression, and they were largely hands off which was wonderful. According to our doula’s timing, my contractions were roughly 2 mins apart and lasted for about 45-60 seconds, so I was clearly in active labor! My midwife never pushed a cervical check on me, so I have no idea how far along my dilation was at any point, but I would assume I was at least 6-7cm when we got to the hospital and things progressed quickly after that.
Since the staff was wonderfully hands off, I trialed laboring in a few different positions, but on my knees leaning over the yoga ball felt the most relaxing and productive (I hated anything standing/weight-bearing) and I really felt like I could focus on my pelvic positioning to get baby to move through the birth canal. I think a huge part of the level of awareness I had in this position comes down to all the labor prep I did (ESPECIALLY the Webster chiropractor I saw - Dr. Kelly - who got Morgan into the ideal LOA position before I was in labor) and how much I worked on pelvic mobility using the yoga ball towards the end of pregnancy - one of my biggest suggestions: get the yoga ball. Use it all the time. I used mine in place of a desk chair and worked on pelvic rocks/tilts/circles every time I sat on it - even while watching TV!
Some coping strategies that I found most effective (these will vary for everyone depending on the type of labor you’re having/where you are feeling pressure the most): deep breathing, clenching a comb, holding my doulas hands, music, essential oils, low lighting, leaning over the birth ball, heat packs in my low back, and Forrest rubbing my sacrum/tailbone in nonstop circles like a saint. We had many more strategies in our toolbox (TENS unit, massage gun, etc.), but never had time to do them since I progressed so quickly - heck, I didn’t even use the tub like I thought I would! Also, some ways I tried to stay hydrated while in labor: sipping on Fond Bone Broth* , eating Perfect Supplements* adrenal cocktail gummies that I had intuitively made the day before, and drinking water with Needed* electrolytes added to it - this was crucial, as I was largely uninterested in eating, and slightly nauseous, so the flavored water helped the most; I chugged a bunch of it in between contractions. (*Discount codes are found in the “Recommendations” section of my website!) Although I physically couldn’t eat much during labor, I still suggest trying to eat and drink while you’re in labor. Find a birth center that will let you do so because it is so crucial to replace the nutrients you are losing in order to have enough energy to finish the marathon that is giving birth. If your place of birth will not let you eat/drink during labor, find a new one ;)
At 11:30am, roughly 90 minutes after being admitted to the hospital, and laboring in a few positions (also, if your place of birth won’t let you labor in any position besides your back, demand better), the nurses needed me to try and empty my bladder, but I couldn’t … fun fact, a full bladder impacts how effectively your uterus can contract and do it’s job during labor, but when your baby is too low like mine was, your urethra is blocked so you can’t relieve your bladder. I decided to sit backwards on the toilet since it’s known as “dilation station” because your body associates being on the toilet with opening and relaxing the pelvic floor, which is crucial for effective dilation and labor progression. The pressure I felt while sitting on the toilet was WILD and uncontrollable. I’m assuming I went through transition here, but can’t quite pinpoint a specific moment of transition, although I do distinctly remember one contraction that felt like it opened everything completely and I think that’s when she descended into the birth canal. I describe it as pressure because I can’t think of another word for it. It wasn’t pain-free, but it definitely wasn’t painful; just insanely deep and heavy pressure in my pelvic floor. Kind of like how people say it feels like you’re about to take the biggest poop of your life haha but not quite. After 30 minutes on the toilet, I needed some peace of mind to know where I was on this journey, and that I was progressing effectively, so I called our midwife into the room. I told her I first wanted to describe the exact sensations I was feeling (which now escape my memory because that’s what birth does to you) before agreeing to a cervical check. On my next contraction, she tried to see what was going on and she thought she saw the head and asked me if I was feeling the urge to push. I said I was but did not want to have my baby on the toilet so we came up with a game plan and she asked me what position I wanted to push in - so incredible to have that autonomy and control! I told her I thought I’d feel best on my hands and knees again so I could focus on opening my pelvic outlet (knees in, ankles out). I also told her I didn’t think I could move far, so she went and got the mat and put it right in front of the bathroom door where I got down to my knees and leaned over the birth ball. I continued to lean into the sensations I was feeling and envisioned my body opening for baby to pass through as well as use deep vocalizations to assist the process. The level of euphoric awareness you feel during this part of birth is a feeling you can’t describe, can’t understand unless you’ve lived through it, and one you find yourself addicted to - it was my favorite! The midwives were applying mineral oil and warm washcloths to my perineum while coaching me through pushing. I breathed deeply and vocalized through pushes, and even got some nice long breaks between contractions where I was cracking jokes about everyone being on the floor! The support I felt in these moments helped me lean into and trust every contraction. I reached behind me at one point to grab Forrest’s hand and tell him how much I loved him - I think the room melted; it was just the most special thing.
I started pushing around 12:05pm and reached down and felt baby’s head at 12:20pm, which provided some much needed motivation to power through each contraction and breathe through each push because I was THAT close to meeting this mystery miracle that had been growing inside me for nine months. I also talked to baby in this moment to tell him/her that we were working as such a great team and that I was so excited to finally meet them! This helped my mindset and I also believed it helped encourage baby to descend effectively. Morgan started crowning at 12:47pm and her head was out at 12:52pm. With a swift unravel of the umbilical cord around her neck, she was born right into her Daddy’s arms at 12:53pm. He passed her to me through my legs and I asked “what is it?!” and he told me he forgot to look! So I looked and announced “it’s a girl!” and that was hands-down one of the coolest moments of my life. Nine months of anticipation and so many opinions/speculations culminated in the coolest, most shocking surprise! I soaked up that moment with Forrest for a second before they stood me up and moved me to the hospital bed to deliver my placenta. I simply could not believe we had a DAUGHTER and that she just worked so hard to enter the world so smoothly and with such swift determination. Her APGAR scores at 1 & 5 mins were 9 & 9, so she was being a little show off. I’m very excited to see how she grows into this big personality of hers!
I was so grateful that St. Joseph’s honors the golden hour and I didn’t have to advocate for it because this is something that means a lot to me. I had her on my chest for over an hour where I got to study all of her perfect features, she latched for the first time, and we just soaked in all the oxytocin! You don’t ever get that bonding time back. A lot of this time is a blur for me since I was on such a birth high, but they waited until her umbilical cord was white and had stopped pulsing before Forrest cut it, which was important for us so she could get all her stem cells and blood volume. The midwives delivered my placenta, placed a few stitches for a minor urethra tear I had (which honestly was more painful that birth!), and navigated my level of blood loss with caution in order to prevent PP hemorrhage. I did lose more blood than they like to see, so I unfortunately had to make the decision to take some medication to stabilize my blood loss and make sure the placenta was fully out. Since I opted out of an IV saline lock, they had to give me a shot of Pitocin and then when that still didn’t slow the bleeding enough, they administered Misoprostil (Cytotec). These were not interventions I wanted, but when my midwife looked me straight in the eyes and I could see how concerned she was about my blood loss, I was just focused on keeping me and baby safe. But HOLY MOLY. The Cytotec shakes were unbearable. I know they say you get the shakes after birth as your body comes down from the hormonal high, but these were so different and so much more intense. They lasted over half an hour and were uncontrollable. I felt so bad because I had Morgan skin to skin on my chest during them and just wanted to stop shaking her - the nurse gave me a tip to stick my tongue out which surprisingly worked to lessen them a bit though! The drugs also spiked a fever and high blood pressure, but that regulated within a few hours. I was just so happy my bleeding was more controlled and we were both safe! They kept us in the L&D room for a few hours to continue monitoring my vitals/bleeding and get Morgan’s stats before moving us to our PP recovery room.
Once the nurses got me stabilized, they moved us to our postpartum room, where we continued to receive the most incredible and loving care from the PP nursing staff. We were truly blessed with the kindest people working at the hospital and are so grateful - especially for the night nurse we had on night 2 who helped us navigate our first cluster feed. The time we spent recovering and bonding in the hospital just as a new family of three was so special and holds memories I will never ever forget. We had decided ahead of time to not have visitors in the hospital and I’m so glad we set that boundary. Those are two days just the three of us we will never get back and it was wonderful to bask in the privacy of that for a little while. The feeling that surges through your soul when you watch your significant other become a parent is one that I wasn’t prepared for; seeing my husband become a girl dad has made me fall in love with him all over again, and I pray that every woman can experience similar emotions of adoration for their spouse. We finally got to go home on Saturday morning (~48hrs after birth) after passing all our midwife checks, and when you leave the hospital to go home with your newborn for the first time, you feel wildly incapable of being fully responsible for this new little life now, but I promise you, you’ve got this. God chose YOU to raise your babies, and He has given you all the skills you need to help them thrive.
In summary, I’d like to leave you with my five biggest pieces of advice for pregnant women:
Learn everything you can about birth - especially the physiology of what happens to your body during labor so you know what to expect and know what you’re feeling - this helps it not be so scary or painful. You can NEVER be too prepared! This is the most important thing you will ever do in your life!
Advocate for yourself and your babies. No one will respect your wants/needs if you don’t respect and uphold them yourself.
Fully trust and surrender to the process. Your body was made to give birth - believe that with every ounce of your soul.
Involve your spouse. Make sure he knows how to assist you and advocate for you, because you’ll be too consumed with the sensations in your body to do so for yourself most effectively. Remember that he is your support system and this is a big event in his life too.
ENJOY IT because it is the most incredible gift that we are given as women.
I hope you enjoyed reading Morgan’s birth story and I hope it inspired you to have the natural, physiological birth that you are so capable of. Never hesitate to reach out to me if you have any questions or want to hear more about our experience - birth is my new favorite thing!
I am wishing you all the best in your journey into parenthood!
